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My 3DS
The funniest fucking console I've ever owned
I don't think I've had a console that lets me hack it so easily and change the theme to gangster SpongeBob besides the 3DS. Combine that with the insane library of games that you can all download for FREE off of hshop or ghost eshop or some other homebrew app, and you have, quite literally, the funniest console ever. For example, it can play PS1 games, but only CHUDDIE PS1 games! You have to recompile your PS1 bins and isos into fucking CHD files! Behold, my library if PS1 chuds like MediEvil and Armored Core! Seriously the best thing ever.
So, what about the actual utility of the console? What makes this better than a PSP or a fucking phone (given most modern phones can handle up to Dreamcast emulation at this point)? Well, what if I told you the 3DS had some of the worst, jankiest, piece-of-shit ways to play video games I've ever seen? LOOK at the Minecraft port. Seriously. It's so fucking funny. The cave generation has been cranked up to 11, some of the clouds have MISCOLORED SIDES, the game gets SLOWER the longer you play it, I can go on. It might be the worst port of Minecraft short of the PS Vita, but it's just so fucking funny, man... LOOK AT THE RENDER DISTANCE! IT'S LIKE 4 CHUNKS!!! Oh, and the MGS3 and Splinter Cell ports. They're also complete dogwater, but INSANELY funny to try and play. I'd say the MGS3 port elevates my enjoyment of the game while making it 10 times worse and I wouldn't have it any other way, lol.
Ok, so what about the actual console? How did I hack it, and what's some ACTUAL merits? Well, hacking it is literally as simple as getting a MicroSD card and putting some custom stuff on it. Literally. That's it. Going from the PS3, which requires you to enter a website into a custom browser and all this extra bullshit, this is dead simple! Once I got the thing jailbroken, I basically used it exclusively to play Resident Evil: Revelations and Armored Core. The latter is a bit of a pain since the controls are so unwieldy, but the former is genuinely a great time! I think it's the first Resident Evil game with dual-analog aiming, like, you can move with the left stick and aim with the nipple. It's a really nice breath of fresh air going from Resident Evil 5 on PS3, I'll tell you that much. Oh, and it's a Nintendo console, so you get all the Nintendo games with it, too. I downloaded Tomadachi Life and thought it was pretty cool! Even if you don't like the funny factor of a 3DS, I'd still recommend picking one up for a cheap price at a thrift store or something. Don't do what I did and get a limited edition one for $120, lmao.
Pictures of the entity
Look at that render distance!